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Feeling a lot of anxiety/ stress/ general-negative-feelings. When I am supposed to at least make use of this little little time I have to attempt my lab report!
Its sort of self-causing actually. like the desire to make my final year more fulfilling (and hence joining a MILLION activities). and suddenly finding myself toooooo strapped for time.
But its err... too late.
What really added to the blues was this week's labs. Somehow felt superrrrrrr afraid that the lithal would just BLOW UP (either mine or those around me) and spent my first day in lab in extreme fear! Realised a chemist's life is quite err, dangerous. Then the stupidest thing happened on the second day, and my product is crap. meaning i would have to redo the lab (or hand in a super low-yield and WRONG COLOUR product) and no time to do the lab report that is due monday.
faints. Life now is almost as busy as year 1 major event period, like go to school, busy till late at night, reach home sleep, next day morning go to school, repeat the whole cycle. Only difference is, there was hardly any work due in year 1, and i have like... tonnes now. And its sort of the responsibility of a final year student to hand in quality work isn't it?
=/
- Mood:
stressed
How enchanting!
Super looking forward :)
My bestest best lunch ever!
- Mood:
happy
How many friends do you have whom you can count on to tell you the truth you need to know?
(or something along that line, can't remember the exact phrasing)
Perhaps this one question really captures the essence of relationships. Or so I would like to think. I've always been keen on making meaningful relationships, and i think honesty is part of what makes a relationship real and meaningful. Guess such friends are really hard to find, because not only do you have to be close enough to have sufficient mutual trust that your relationship would not collapse upon hearing the truth (which can sometimes be very ugly), both people have to value honesty and truth a lot. And while it may seem obvious at the moment to you (like instantly think, of course i value honesty), its not always the case I guess. Sometimes we just don't want to know yeah? Haha reminds me of the classic hypothetical situation we spent a night debating about last time: If you are on your deathbed and an angel comes up to you and asked, "Do you wanna know if your spouse cheated on you?", what would your answer be? And would your answer be different if you're in the middle of your life now (still alive and kicking that is) and that same question is asked.
And my personal take-home point during the casual (but professional *coughs*) feedback session,
"Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy." - Warren Wiersbe
Okay I guess what I wanna say is that i really value such people in my life, people who can be truthful in love. And hope that I have been / can be such a friend to others too.
孙燕姿 - 同类
雨后的城市 寂寞又狼狈
路边的座位 它空着在等谁
我拉住时间 它却不理会
有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安慰
风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁
天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁
心 暖了又灰 世界
有时候孤单的很需要另一个同类
爱 收了又给 我们都不太完美
梦 作了又碎 我们有几次机会 去追
不晓得为甚么爱 又稀少又昂贵
云在半空中 被微风剪碎
回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不对
Random emo song which somehow really speaks close to the heart on so many occasions. I'm glad I found one, and I should be content. But its hard to believe and accept why the world thinks so differently most of the time. Should I always just not expect, and go with the flow? Its so hard for an idealist to live in such a real world. Do people just get more realistic and abandon values as they proceed in life?
if thats so, then its really sad.
Arghh and without studying, i don't know anything, and can't do anything! No or should I say, even with studying, I still dont know anything. Can't sit still and study at all. Whats wrong with me?! Wonder what it'll be like if I go to the exam hall in as bad a state as this =S In sec sch/ jc, even if you don't study much, what was taught during lectures was retained pretty easily, and it was much easier to apply what you've learnt (into exam questions that is). In college, the exact opposite! I can't do a single question. Rahhh.
That aside, the cheesy/silly/corny/but still funny joke that always pops back into my head whenever i see the biochemistry notes:
Watson and Crick went into a pet shop one day and wanted to get a pet. There were 3 dogs which they kinda liked. (Lets just call them 1, 2, 3.) Guess which did they choose in the end?
2. Because its the CENTRAL DOG MA!
im so lame -_-
- Mood:
restless
Haha no I haven't been following it, except for watching all the wow auditions on youtube, but its the finals today, and so many of them are so good that I don't know who I want to win!! The household caught the show on itv.com and all the performances were GREATTTT :) Britains got talent really hahaha. I'm totally impressed :D While people critique and say susanboyle's overated, or that she is a one song-er, I honestly think she does this song justice. It was great, hahah and fit for the queen.
http://talent.itv.com/videos/video/item_
(Haha FAILED i dunno how to embed media!! go to the site manually please -.-)
Hollie Steel tooo! Her semi-finals was so devastating. You should really watch it. makes you feel all that fear for the poor little girl :( Glad that the finals were better. Hahahh yah the rest were good too, Aidan was a little disappointing though, but quite sad that he couldn't rehearse enough to make the finals his best. He was so good the whole time! Hahahahh im saying everything is good, coz it is!! Except for the corny non-mainstream stuff, sorry I can't accept those =S Just watch everything on itv.com or youtube! :)
Quite disappointed by the results though :( Diversity's good but haha i prefer others.
Well at least overall, i'm really impressed by the quality of the show :DDD
- Mood:
impressed
Anyway it all started, when I was in Physical tutorial. As a chemistry student, one will tend to have a favourite chemistry, i.e. Organic, Inorganic or Physical (or at least something along that line). Back in JC, i thought i kinda enjoyed chemistry as a whole, and organic chemistry at that. Then come college, I find organic chem more disgusting by the day. At the same time, also thinking that although phy lectures are always confusing, somehow at the end of it, its something I find least problems with. Inorg probably just stays more or less neutral, although i liked MO quite a bit. So.. back at that tutorial, it suddenly dawned on me that although phychem is something i can score in, i don't really think i'm interested in it! All those error analysis, least mean squares, data and computer stuff... No, not too keen. So i entertained the thought that maybe, orgchem is not that repulsive afterall (after we stopped having org.labs). Haha but eew, again totally repulsed when i went for the next lesson - yes guess what org.tut. There's not a single bone in me which inclines toward remembering the names of ten thousand chemists and their ten thousand synthetic pathways. Woohoo. Next, inorg crystals lectures. Sat through the whole lecture amused that i understood maybe only 10% of what was going on. ARGH. Feels like i'm wasting a few (may i add, prime) years of my life studying so hard for something that I don't like, don't understand, and probably won't need for the rest of my life. I'm highly envious of people who actually love (or at least enjoy) what they're learning. And somehow at the back of my head i think studying geog would be quite enjoyable, all the realness of it :) Hahah not that i've ever developed that interest, plus i suck at arty subjects. And psych too, useful to a certain degree at least. But ohwells, i probably would've felt the same resent if i really majored at these subjects anyway.
There is no consolation to think about the future, when you graduate and enter the workforce, because statistics show that most people don't like where they are and just wanna get out. What then? Argh, maybe life would surprise me then, if i don't hold too high expectations of it.
Until there is a better solution, i better start to learn how to love chem more >.<
Nice, France
Realised I havent posted a single picture / thing about Nice! And I'm too lazy to scan through the photos to upload on facebook, but yes even lazier to blog a proper post. So hahah.. a picture or two to remind me a few years down the road that I even went there.
Atop the cacti sky garden at Eze Village
Monte Carlo, Monaco, the place for the rich and famous!
Fruit and Flower Market. Loveeeeeely place :)
Great weather! Look at the crowd! ^_^
Must prove that we were there haha
Free flow mussels and frites!
Atop the cacti sky garden at Eze Village
Monte Carlo, Monaco, the place for the rich and famous!
Fruit and Flower Market. Loveeeeeely place :)
Great weather! Look at the crowd! ^_^
Must prove that we were there haha
Free flow mussels and frites!
Ohmygoshhhhhhh. I know its a little late and i've procrastinated long, but i've finally gotten down to watching Gossip Girl! And it is such an evilllllllll show! Started watching it hmm 3 nights ago? And just completed the series. I actually started on the wrong episode coz I conveniently clicked on the first episode in the folder -.- And like I said, its such an evil show. Cos u can't stop watching it! Initially after a few episodes the bitchiness did feel a bit overwhelming, which later made me worry about the idea of bringing up girls because teen girls growing up is quite a scary process and they can go to all lengths just to fit in (all the scheming stuff, as portrayed by little Jenny). The last few episodes were the worst, because I needed to keep watching cos I wanted things to work out for Serena! I like Serena and Dan :((( Why wont they work outtt. But hahah at least they are a couple in real life (even if only for now or something, we don't know) :D And okay, seeing that this is wasting my entire days away, and that there will be no happy S-D even come season2, I SHALL NOT CONTINUE WATCHING! Not this Easter anyway. Right. End of ranting. Hahah watching so many episodes at a go is really overwhelming and i just needed to rant.
Until then, you know you love me.
xoxo,
Gossip Girl.
Haha FAINT.
- Mood:
crazy
You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are
Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are
Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"
Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.
Hee Live High is nice too. His chillllllll way of life. I need that.
My mum is now a Christian. But when I wanted to get baptised in April, which was two months after I received Christ, she objected. Everyday she would call me, cry and threaten me, saying that I was not filial, tha I was deserting her, since I was not going to pray to her after she died. She didn't want me to get baptised, and forced me to speak to a monk, saying, "You must speak to Shifu (Master). If you want to be a Christian, that's fine, but you cannot be baptised."
I replied, "If you want me to speak to Shifu, I shall. But if he cannot answer some of my questions, then I'll go ahead and get baptised."
The monk called me and said, "Chrisianity is actually something lower than Buddhism." He believes in he wheel of reincarnation. The six levels of the wheel of reincarnation are: hell, all the lost souls, the animals, human, deity and the Buddha. You have to work hard for millions of years. For instance, if you are a pig, then in the next life you become a human, and then in the next life you become something else.
I replied, "Okay, as a Buddhist, I have to work very hard. I have to do good so that I can earn the points in my report card, hoping that my next life I may be able to become a Buddha. And then as a Buddha, I have to work some more because I wan to go to the world of 'nothingness' - Nirvana. If that is the case, who decides what I have done so wrong to fall into this wheel of reincarnation. What have I done wrong? Who decides my first life? What did I do to come into this world? Where do I come from?"
He answered, "From the world of nothingness." But if I come from nothing, which is the ideal state, what wrong did I do to fall ino this wheel of reincarnation? He could not answer me. So, everything is meaningless. I came from nothingness and I have to work so hard to go back to the world of nothingness. Because he couldn't answer me, he told my mum to let me become a Christian.
Galatians 6:9
( Shine, Matt Redman )
"The worst snowfalls to affect Britain in 18 years has led to school and road closures, disrupted rail services and hundreds of flight cancellations.
Thousands of people have been unable to travel in London as snow disrupted the city's transport network.
Britain is bracing itself for further disruption as fresh bands of snow sweep across the country.
South-east England has been hit by the heaviest snow in 18 years, causing trains and buses to be cancelled, and airports and schools to be closed.Parts of London may see a foot (30cm) of snow, while the Pennines and parts of the north may see 20 inches (50cm).The Met Office has issued an extreme weather warning for England, Wales and parts of eastern Scotland. " -BBC
WHOAS! Never knew we'd actually see real snow in London! AND WE DID!
Since yesterday evening, snow started falling and a thin layer collected at our balcony and we were so excited. Read: suaku. Little did we ever imagine there would be such a heavy snow storm through the night that resulted in this morning's 20-30cm thick snow! IN CENTRAL LONDON! It was such a great day! Left house to be greeted by the pristine white snow and it was great that school was cancelled! So we trotted to school, played with snow along the way, and built a snowman on our very own Queen's Lawn. It was a happy day for many people, kids especially, because I doubt they had ever experienced snow like this in London either. So we had a lotta fun, catching snowflakes, throwing snowballs, and making snow angels, until we got really hungry by lunch time. Headed to the nearest food outlet, which was not near at all. Trodded through the whole of Hyde Park to Marble Arch Macs, but eating Macs had never been so satisfying:) Got a little tired by that time though, because a lot of snow had been stepped/driven on by then, and it was all a big, grey, squishy mess, which only seeped through my boots, resulting in cold and wet toes :( So I guess a day of snow is good, all in good fun, but it might have to stop soon, before it becomes a big disaster! Pray that the homeless are adequately provided for though :(
OH and the school library is closed indefinitely. Hahah think they're afraid we might follow the movie and burn the books for heat! ;-)
19 - 26 Dec '08
Back from Türkiye and it was a good trip overall! :)
Amazing view at Cappadocia, place of cave houses
( Cappadocia )
( Pamukkale )
Thats us soaking our legs in the very comforting rush of warm water! BUT the next pic shows chieh struggling to pull down my jeans for me. OHMY so embarrassing. Hahah skinny jeans got stuck! Learnt to wear skinny jeans only on the right occasions :/
The Celsus Library of Ephesus. The second shows the public road down Ephesus, which was entirely made out of marble! 
The temple of artemis. Haha and a very interesting turkish carpets demonstration! Explained how its made, the different kinds of carpets etc. And its vvv nice! But ex. haha (though apparently it could last some 100-1000years)
The great view from the roof of Big Apple Hostel. Oh and we changed rooms the next day to such nice and happy rooms! Big and comfy and green apple bedsheets with yellow-gold curtains! :) The second shows the boat cruise.
( special special dinner :) )
The very yummy shish kebab! And we took a pic with the customer manager Suat Timor (hahah we have him on facebook too).
Hahah yup that concludes our turkey trip on a high note! :) Pleased with the friendliness of the whole place. Ohh the total cost of this trip is about £450 incldg flights (haha in case next time i wanna rmb how much it costs).
けさにほんごしけんをむずかしいです。わたしわあまりわかりません。
いましゅくだいがたくさんありますから、どこもいきません。せんもんのレポートもおわ
まいにちたいへんですね。:-(
- Mood:lame haha
- Mood:
gloomy
Trying to sound remotely like a fine writer. Haha my foot, im such a scientist! :/ Anyhows realised i haven't blogged in a long long long time! Along the way, i've come to the decision that my interest in blogging has waned and unlike in the past, when i'm bored or have thoughts/words, I really won't choose this as an option. But I think its such a pity too, because I'd have no records of my life here at all, and a few weeks/months/years down the road, I'd be clueless how I spent my time! Sooooooo.. i'm in a bid to remember to blog, even if its only occasional.
So my labs have (finally) started, and its already about to end. Not like its too soon to end, because while it has been a fulfilling time, its also very taxing. Hahah I've been feeling like Hermione for the past 2.5 weeks, rushing to start my lab at 11am, and then trying to beat the clock and complete something -anything at all- before I have to go off for Jap lessons at 12pm. But of course, that 1 hour can barely get me setting up any apparatus, so I'd always leave at 12.01pm (or wdv) and run all the way to mech eng building, huff and puff in the lift up, and smile apologetically for being late (again). Have a quick lunch after jap and pooof, back to a room of blue gloves and white coats. I kinda enjoy labs actually, because there's this freedom and control over what I'm doing. Still, some things are way out of my control. Like what happened on Monday, when I was this close to exploding.
Monday lived up to its blue name and I had a badddd day. Problem sheet due, katakana test, lab in a horrible setting. By somewhat 3+pm, I was halfway into my column chromatography and things finally seem to look better. Until my neighbour in the fumehood (who kinda already annoyed me with his constant negligence with his apparatus) accidentally knocked my product over! Thats me halfway through the experiment and a 'sorry' nulled it all. Didn't know what I could do there so I walked away, really exasperated and pissed (yeah never felt this pissed in lab before). Sought K for some complaining, and then a demonstrator kindly helped me request for a new sample and advised me on what I could do. And then yeah, basically that meant my whole day was wasted. Not only that, I realised that my whole lab manual and my IR spectra were all stained (like 1/2 page!) with the yellow unknown mixture (which could potentially contain any or all of the hazards, carcinogenic, toxic, irritant, flammable, etc). Haha thats how I almost exploded. Not directly by some chemicals of course. Anyway yeah, got over it and I guess I can only swallow that down.
Hahaha okay end of story telling! 4 more reports to go!
- Mood:
geeky
Big part of setting up the house goes to bugging our landlord to fix all the faulty things for us, like doors, windows etc, and also to open the warehouse for us, where we took quite some furniture from. With some drilling, hammering, bluetacking and vacuuming..
MY ROOM! :)
Hee the last pic was taken a few days back when the weather was just GREAT. The sun shone all day, and its glory was best captured by the disco ball we bought from centrale mercato in florence. The glittery effect frm the spinning disco ball :) Actually weather here was really good, up until yesterday when it took a turn for the gloomy.
Thats our living room and kitchen. Isn't the view from our kitchen just greattt? -.- Hahah okay actually because it was pasted with sheets of newspaper unaesthetically (coz we're on the ground floor and are pretty exposed), so we replaced that with a cool blue poster :)
Okie too lazy to go on with pictures. its slowwwwww. ciao!
oh forgot to mention.
My address:
Flat 1, Chamberlain House,
171 Cromwell Road,
London,
SW5 0SE,
United Kingdom.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the Earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness,
come into his presence with singing.
Know that the Lord, he is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise.
Give thanks to him, bless his name!
For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever
and his faithfulness to all generations.
Hee realised i haven't blogged for like forever! Have no inclination to blog these days actually >.<
This was the passage for cg today and we were made to memorise it. Hahahh okay I must admit half a day later, i've forgotten half of it. =x But I think really, there's so much to give thanks for! How much we've been blessed with, but we always tend towards discontent, towards complaining, towards depriving ourselves from our birthright, joy. Of course in a way, I think I've come a long way from the person I was a few years ago, but certainly also, there's still a long journey to go. I would like to think I'm reflecting enough joy and hope to those around me, but I also know what I can understand now is far from that depth where joy is not circumstantial, that even should everything be taken from me, I would still be joyful. Its a lifelong journey i guess.
And so, I've been home for 2 mths now. Unbelievable isn't it. Sometimes, time seems to really crawllll by! In the first 3 wks I was home, life was heaven on Earth. Meeting up with people, slacking, eating :)
At home..
Met 75 people here and there, hahah not all had photo evidence (im tooo lazy), and esp glad i got to meet fel often while she was back! Dont know when will be the next time I see her maybe 2 years later =p
And with the cg! Going back to covenant :) although of course there are yet more changes to come. i'm thankful for the fellowship, learning, praying, i can get back here. hee love the cosy photo taken last wed :)
Hahah and of course yup going out with mark (yes i know a lot of you
which eventually became..
me talking to my hand in the lab:( , and him showing my cheeky dad that sign! =O
But yayee! the skyping days are about to end! =))))
And then when my work ended, i had about 2 weeks to rot! And i thought rotting at work was bad. Rotting at home was a little hard to get by at first also =/ Until more events occupied me, notably, Sojourn 2008. Getting to know a new bunch of people, collectively known as COCONUTS!
I learnt how to make sushi too! from my aunt :) who was a littleeee fierce =x oh and ukbound, hahah which we graced, for a couple of hours >.<
A month more to go! Yayee and think this last month here will be great =))
- Mood:
grateful
